Pastor Philip Olubakin, lead pastor of Supernatural Life Church, has criticised people who consider ending romantic relationships over the absence of gestures such as morning text messages, arguing that character, faith and mutual respect should take priority over romantic expectations.
The pastor made the remarks during a sermon in which he recounted advising a female church member against leaving her boyfriend because he did not regularly send her affectionate messages early in the morning.
Olubakin argued that a partner’s values, commitment to God, respect for others and willingness to learn were more important considerations when deciding whether to remain in a relationship.
Describing the man in the example, the pastor said he was committed to his faith, actively involved in church activities, respectful and supportive of his partner.
Questioning why the woman would consider ending the relationship over a communication habit, he said: “He’s a good guy, he loves God, he’s very active in God’s work, he loves you, he’s sound, he’s balanced, he honours you, he respects you. You are going to break up with him because he doesn’t send you early morning text messages? That means you don’t have sense.”
He maintained that romantic gestures could be learned over time, whereas a person’s underlying character and willingness to grow were more fundamental to a lasting relationship.
“The most critical things to look for first of all is this guy is a child of God and he’s teachable. I will not trade that for anything,” he said.
Olubakin also turned his attention to physical attraction, warning against placing excessive importance on appearance when choosing a partner.
He argued that attractive physical features could not, on their own, sustain a relationship through financial difficulties, personal struggles or other serious challenges.
“The day of adversity, in the day of crisis, you will know that big bum bum cannot stand when the enemy comes against your household,” the pastor said.
Beyond romantic expectations, Olubakin criticised what he described as unhealthy communication habits among couples, particularly when partners deliberately delay responding to calls or messages to avoid appearing too eager.
He questioned why people would allow pride or fear of rejection to prevent them from initiating conversations with someone they claimed to love.
“Instead of you to call the person, every time your phone rings your heart is doing gbim-gbim, it’s not him, it’s your alarm. Why not call him?” he asked.
The pastor also mocked couples who refuse to make the first move in communicating with each other, saying: “So two of you are holding your phone like this, waiting for who will call first, foolish people.”
His comments highlight a recurring debate about expectations in modern relationships, particularly the importance attached to frequent communication, affectionate gestures and digital expressions of attention.
For many couples, morning messages and regular calls can serve as meaningful expressions of care. However, differences in communication styles do not necessarily indicate a lack of affection, making honest conversations about expectations important in maintaining a healthy relationship.
Olubakin’s central argument was that partners should look beyond surface-level gestures and consider whether a relationship is built on respect, shared values, emotional maturity and a willingness to work through disagreements.
His remarks have added to conversations about the balance between romantic attention and the deeper qualities that contribute to lasting partnerships.