Pastor Bolaji Idowu has advised singles to be cautious about relationships in which one partner refuses to make a clear commitment, arguing that genuine love should be accompanied by intentionality and a willingness to define the future of the relationship.
The cleric made the remarks while addressing relationship expectations, particularly situations in which people remain in romantic relationships for extended periods without clarity about marriage or long-term commitment.
According to the pastor, individuals should pay attention to whether their partners are prepared to communicate their intentions and take practical steps towards building a future together.
“When there’s love, there’s commitment,” he said, stressing that affection should not be used as a justification for keeping a partner in a prolonged state of uncertainty.
Idowu also criticised situations in which men propose marriage but leave their fiancées waiting for years without making meaningful progress towards the wedding.
“You will not use ring to imprison her and say, ‘I’ve engaged her,’ you’ve engaged her for five years. What should you do with that?” he asked.
His comments reflect concerns about relationships in which engagement is treated as a permanent arrangement rather than a step towards marriage.
The pastor further challenged the response, “Let’s see how it goes,” when used by someone who has been asked to explain the direction of a relationship.
“When you ask someone, ‘What are we doing?’ and they say, ‘I’m not sure,’ they don’t love you. Why? Anywhere there is love, there’s what? Commitment,” he stated.
Idowu argued that individuals should not have to repeatedly seek reassurance from partners who remain unwilling to discuss their intentions.
He also placed responsibility on women to recognise when a relationship is not progressing and to avoid accepting uncertainty indefinitely in the hope that the other person will eventually commit.
His advice has added to ongoing conversations about dating, engagement and marriage, particularly among young Nigerians navigating differing expectations about relationship timelines.
However, relationship decisions can be influenced by several factors, including finances, family responsibilities, personal readiness and individual values. A delay in marriage does not automatically establish that a partner lacks genuine affection.
Clear communication, mutual understanding and agreement about the future remain important considerations for couples deciding whether their relationship is moving in a direction that meets both partners’ expectations.