Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo has advised men who complain about materialistic partners to reconsider their relationship choices, arguing that some overlook women who could support their personal growth and long-term ambitions.
Speaking about relationships and marriage, Okonkwo said men should avoid generalising about women based on negative experiences and instead pay closer attention to the qualities they prioritise when choosing partners.
“You’re always looking for girls that are taking from you. You see the ones that can support you and help you, you don’t want that one,” he said.
The pastor argued that some men focus heavily on gifts, money and material expectations in relationships while overlooking the value of companionship, shared responsibility and mutual support.
He also cautioned against the broader gender conflict in which men and women are portrayed as inherently dishonest or exploitative.
“Don’t join all this gender war: men are scum, women are scum. It’s a lie. It’s the type you are chasing,” he said.
Okonkwo further challenged the idea that men must achieve complete financial success before getting married, suggesting that a supportive marriage can help partners develop their abilities and pursue their goals together.
Using business as an example, he explained that spouses can combine their skills, networks and resources to improve their prospects of success.
“When you marry a good woman, she’s a multiplier for everything in your life,” he said, reflecting on his own marriage.
His remarks emphasise partnership, mutual contribution and shared goals as important considerations in choosing a spouse.
While financial compatibility and expectations can influence relationship decisions, successful partnerships also depend on communication, respect, trust and agreement about responsibilities.
Okonkwo’s message encourages people to assess potential partners by their character and willingness to build a future together rather than relying exclusively on material considerations.